Contemplations
by PurpleStar1985
Summary: Trinity's thoughts between being asked to stay out of the Matrix, and finding Neo at Mobil Ave.


Title: Contemplations

Author: Angel Of Darkness 4585

Rating: PG-13. Mainly for language, but a little bit for themes also.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I don't own any of the original quotes from either of the Matrix sequels that I've used in this piece. The only thing that belongs to me is the words I've written.

Spoilers: Reloaded and Revolutions

Summary: Trinity's thoughts between being asked to stay out of the Matrix, and finding Neo at Mobil Ave.

Author's notes: This is my first published Matrix fanfiction, and the first time I've attempted a Matrix fic written in the first person narrative. This is Trinity's POV.

Thanks to MidnightBlues and Endless_Sorrow over at the Hardline for their help with the html tags.

I'd be very grateful for any feedback people can give me, be it compliment or constructive criticism, although I will say I hate flamers. If you are one, I'd suggest you go and find something that you prefer to read. 

23/03/04 – Edited for a few minor typos that I only just noticed.

*~*~*~*~*~*

_"__What if I asked you to stay out of this, no matter what. To stay out of the matrix?"_

He's asking the impossible. I can't do that. I need to go in, to protect him. But, even as I'm asking why, I know. He knows something. Looking into his eyes, I understand that he only wants to protect me. He doesn't have to ask again, although I can't believe I'm agreeing to this. 

We're sitting in our room, on the Nebuchadnezzar. I didn't think the heating was still on this late, except in the Core; it's warmer than usual. Maybe it's warmer because of what we just did, before Neo started asking me to do things I didn't want to. I don't think I can say we just _made love_, there was too much raw passion to call it that. I think we're both scared, and sex seemed to help. Neither of us will acknowledge fear though: we're too stubborn. We don't know what will happen tonight. That could have been the last time we'll ever sleep together.

Morpheus and Link give me strange looks when I tell them I'm not going it. I tell them why, and they exchange a look. Obviously, I haven't gotten rid of my reputation completely in the last six months. Six, seven months ago, if anyone had even dared suggest I stay out, well, Neo found out how sharp my tongue can be by doing just that. He's just lucky I didn't hit him. If it had been anyone else, my fist would have been connecting with their jaw. Now he's done the same thing again, and he's still alive. Then again, last time, he didn't ask me to stay out, he pretty much told me. Link and I jack them in, and then we take our places as Link loads them up.

We're watching the monitors, neither of us speaking. I notice something shining around his neck, and recognise it. It belongs to Zee. Some lucky chain or something. She was wearing it when she said goodbye to Link the first time he operated the ship for us. I know she doesn't understand why he does it, neither do I to be honest. I'm not sure if I believe in lucky charms, or prayer for that matter, but that's what I'm doing, quietly, inside my head.

_Please God; bring them back safely, please._

We watch as the power station goes down, but… the emergency system is starting to reroute the power. What the fuck are Soren and his crew playing at? Why aren't they doing their job? Link and I look at the monitors, and we see that they're not moving. Oh shit. When Neo, Morpheus and the Keymaker open that door…. I don't want to think it. I have to go in, I know I made a promise, but I have to break that promise to save Neo. I won't have him die again. I can't lose him. I just can't.

_"__I will not stand here and do nothing. I will not wait here to watch them die."_

I know I'm cutting it close, I only hope they don't reach that door before I've cut the power. The only way I have of getting there fast is a motorcycle, which also doubles as a handy bomb to eradicate the guards' station. Helmets also come in useful as knocking out weapons. Even though I've done this thousands of times before, I feel a quick surge of pride as I view the knocked out guards. Hell, if I were egotistical, I might even allow myself quick congratulations. _I kick ass. Go me._ But, I'm not egotistical, and I don't have time. I have to save Neo. Link instructs me on where to go, and I start to make my way up there quickly. _Why isn't this elevator moving faster?_

_"Hold it right there, little lady."_

A technician and a guard. No problem to me, especially when one patronises me. I've got to get to that computer. Finally, the power's going out, just in time too. Link tells me they're in. I leave my phone on the table as I stride from the room, leaving Link talking to thin air. He won't be happy.

I approach the elevator again; ready to leave, and be back on the ship without Neo ever knowing I broke my promise. Unfortunately, luck isn't on my side. An agent. Not Smith though. This is one of the original agents. We fight, as usual, but this time it's different. I've never had to throw myself from a window before. Especially not a window on the 65th floor. For a brief moment, I wonder how I'm not going to die when I hit the ground, and decide to worry about that after I shoot the agent.

But, he has the same idea as me, and, unfortunately for me, one of his bullets hits home. Right into my heart. Somehow, I know that this is what Neo dreamt about. The way he always jolted awake, immediately checking I was still sleeping beside him. I knew it was something bad, but he dreamt of my death? I apologise to him, and I continue to do so with half of my mind, the other half is preoccupied on 'Oh shit, I'm going to die.' I'm scared now, and would admit it to anyone. I don't want to have to accept defeat, but I might have to…

Then, suddenly, I land heavily into two arms, two arms I know and cherish so much. Neo. Travelling at light speed, trying to catch me. He knew. I'm still going to die, he doesn't understand that. I've been shot in the heart. I have so much to say to him, and I have to say it now. I can feel us slowing down, and then we're on a rooftop somewhere. I can't go on for much longer…

_"Neo, I had to."_

He reaches inside me, manipulating the code. It hurts so damn much, I cry out. When he removes his hand, he tosses the bullet away, and looks at me. His eyes, so emotional, willing me to live.

_"I'm sorry."_

Then I'm gone. Lifeless. Yet…still there? I can hear him, speaking to me. He doesn't know when to give up, but I'm so glad. I'm not sure if this would be classed as an out-of-body experience. I can see him, I can see me, and it's a bit eerie.

"Trinity. Trinity, I know you can hear me. I'm not letting go. I can't. I love you too damn much."

I watch him manipulating the code again, restarting my heart. I'm sucked back to my body, living, breathing again. I sit up, it's a struggle, but I do it. I'm kissing him, or is it that he's kissing me? I don't know, and I sure as hell don't care. We've both done it now; both brought the other back to life. We're even.

The next thing I know, we're flying towards another exit. Down the same street Neo just came from. The devastation is amazing. It shows how fast he was travelling. Windows are knocked out, cars are all over the place. We get to the exit, and are unplugged back onto the Neb. The first person to envelope me in a hug is Neo. Then Morpheus and Link have to hug me too. We go to sit in the mess hall; it's probably the best place to talk. Morpheus is confused as to what happened. The war should be over. Then Neo drops a bombshell. Zion's going to be destroyed if we don't do something, in 24 hours. Then he drops another one. The prophecy was a lie. That can't be possible. Not after seeing Neo do what he's done in the past six months. 

Morpheus has believed in this prophecy for years. He thought I was the One when he first got me out. I think it was because of the IRS thing. Obviously, it turned out I wasn't, but ever since then, for eleven years, I've helped Morpheus search. I wasn't sure I believed in the prophecy, but I've always believed in Morpheus. He's still looking confused when I snap out of my thoughts. I get the feeling he wants to talk some more about this, but we're interrupted. Damn squiddies.

It's not a personal attack; it's an attack via bomb. We have to leave. Unless, of course, we want to be blown up. We don't get far away when the bomb hits. The Nebuchadnezzar is gone, destroyed. Then, predictably, the Sentinels are coming after us. I turn, to see Neo do something he usually reserves for the Matrix. He's holding his hand up, trying to stop them. I'm worried. We shouldn't be trying to stop them, we should be running. It works. They fall to the ground, as if an EMP had just been activated. I watch in horror as Neo passes out, crumpling into a heap. I scream his name, and run, stumbling, over to him. Morpheus and Link hear my scream, and come running. I don't know what happened, and that's what I tell Morpheus when he asks. We can hear a faint sound, a ship, not Sentinels. The Hammer. I've never been so happy to see their ship. From what I've heard, the medic, Maggie, is excellent.

The Hammer picks us up. I follow Maggie and some of the crew to the infirmary, where they place Neo on the table. There's someone else in here as well, but I'm too preoccupied to take a good look. Neo is linked up to a machine, checking his vitals. I sit beside him, just holding his hand and watching. After a while, Maggie suggests I go and rest. I don't want to, I can't. I have to be here.

Hours pass, I'm not sure how many. I ask Maggie about the other patient, and she invites me to look at him. I let go of Neo's hand, the first time I've done that since we've been here, and go to look. It's Bane. We talk some more, and then Maggie says something about Neo's neural patterns. She says that they're nothing out of the ordinary; she sees them all the time. 

_"__On someone jacked in."_

Neo can't be jacked in. I'm confused. He's right here, not jacked in. Then again, he did stop the squiddies just as he stops bullets in the Matrix. Well, I'm not a fully qualified medic, and I sure as hell can't explain what's going on. My thoughts are disturbed when Morpheus knocks on the door and walks in. He tells me we have to go and see the Oracle. I want to protest, I have to stay here. I start to speak, then I see the look in Morpheus' eyes, it's his very own no-nonsense look. I'll have to settle for sulking instead, which I can do very well when I have to.

We reach the Oracle's apartment, the same one we took Neo to, the first time he saw her. My heart gives a little jolt when I think of him, and then I remember that Maggie will contact me if anything changes. She promised. There is a strange woman in the room. I'm unable to recognise her, but, even as I ask who she is, I know. The Oracle has changed. I don't fully understand why she's changed, but that doesn't matter to me now. I only have one question to ask her, and I do. Her answer is, as always, slightly confusing.

"He's trapped in a place between this world and the machine world."

It turns out that basically, Neo can't get back unless the Merovingian gives him the okay, which is highly unlikely. We have to try to find the Trainman, and tell him we want Neo. Then, I think he'll ask the Merovingian. Unfortunately, after chasing the Trainman, it turns out that he's fairly elusive. This is not going to be easy. In fact, it's about as easy as it would be to freeze hell over. Coincidentally, we're actually going to hell to get Neo back. Well, Hel anyway. That's where the Merovingian is right now.

Club Hel isn't that hard to get into, at least not for those of us who are good at martial arts, but when you go in with two other people, and all three of you are holding guns, you suddenly don't blend in anymore. We are escorted to the Merovingian, who, as usual, is his arrogant self. There are guns pointed at my head, and guns to Morpheus' head, and Seraph's head too. I think we're in a little too deep this time. He tells us what he wants from us, in order for us to have Neo.

"I don't have time for this shit."

I think I've actually scared him. I mean, I have a gun to his head, and I'm the one threatening him now. I'm the one in charge. He doesn't look quite so confident. He knows that I would have no trouble putting a bullet through his skull. Then, sitting next to him, is his… well, I'm not sure what to call her. Bitch? I would have no problem putting the second bullet into her. Sitting there looking like a fucking porcelain doll, almost smirking at me. God how I hate her. The Merovingian sighs. He gives in. Looking at us, he gives the Trainman his orders. Only I can go to get Neo, which I'm thankful for. Then, we are dismissed, with a wave of his hand.

The Trainman escorts me to him. A subway station, that's all it is. An insignificant subway station. Yet, this is what has kept him from me for hours. I'm quite ready to beat the Trainman when we arrive; he's been leering at me the whole way here. I hate that, I hate him. He watches me as I stand at the doors. My heart is beating slightly faster, my breathing is the same. I know what it is, it's anticipation.

 I step onto the platform, and turn to my right. I see the man I've been waiting to see ever since we found out where he was. He catches my eye, and look at each other for about a millisecond, before I rush towards him, and throw my arms around his neck. And then he's kissing me, and his kiss is filled with love, and relief. It's only been a few hours, but it feels like a lifetime. I'm so used to him always being there when I need him to be there, even when we sleep, and these past hours have been torture. But, now we're reunited. With a bond stronger than ever before.


End file.
